Tuesday, November 12, 2013

I'm not afraid of Gloria Estefan.

Every November, I write a blog post complaining bitterly about how much I hate hearing Christmas music before Thanksgiving. I complain and complain and complain, and yet the Christmas music keeps playing.

I'm starting to think that my complaining is doing no good. I guess I just need to complain more.

The other day I was at a store (I won't say which one, but it rhymes with "Johl's"), and I was trying to shop for regular, non-Christmasy things while listening to Gloria Estefan tell me she wanted to see Christmas through my eyes. If you've never heard this song before, here are some actual lyrics:

I wanna see Christmas
I wanna see Christmas, I wanna see Christmas through your eyes
I wanna see, I wanna see Christmas
I wanna see, I wanna see Christmas
I wanna see Christmas through your eyes
I wanna see Christmas
I want to see Christmas
I wanna see Christmas through your eyes

To sum up: The song is about wanting to see Christmas through your eyes.

Now this song is permanently stuck in my head. There are also some verses about being a child again and seeing a rainbow and so on. The more my brain plays it over and over, the more awful the song gets. Now, it's not as awful as the Christmas song where the little boy is buying shoes for his dying mother so she can look hot when she meets Jesus, but it's still pretty awful. And my brain won't let it go.

Is the universe trying to punish me for all of my years of complaining? Is it trying to send a warning in the form of Gloria Estefan? If so, I am not afraid. The last time Gloria Estefan tried to warn us about something back in 1987, there was that big panic, and then the rhythm did not get anybody. 

I'm going to keep complaining. Bring it on, Gloria. Bring. It. On.


susanwasson said...

Loved it! Made me laugh out loud!

Deb said...

Hilarious! My neighbors across the street turned their Christmas lights on two days ago, and I can't not see them. Or stop complaining. Makes me want to cover my house in Valentine's shit just to prove a point.