Wednesday, August 01, 2012

Peter Pan: Truly outrageous

The other night we went to a big outdoor theater for a performance of Peter Pan. Technically, the name of the play was not "Peter Pan." It was "Cathy Rigby is Peter Pan! Presented by Beauty Brands: Salon Spa Superstore!" I got a free can of hairspray at the front gate.

The play was great, and WCK really enjoyed it, because Peter Pan is her absolute favorite story/movie/play right now. The woman sitting next to me, however, seemed to be enjoying the play on a whole different level. I couldn't tell if she simply had an obnoxious personality or if she'd visited the margarita cart a few too many times. Maybe both. Every time Peter Pan would say something, Margarita Lady would repeat the line to her friend as though she could not believe Peter Pan just said something so outrageous, and then she'd snort with laughter.

I've witnessed this behavior before, but I thought it was a bizarre phenomenon that only happened during Julia Roberts movies. Every time I see a Julia Roberts movie in the theater, I always end up sitting in front of a group of 50-something women who repeat everything Julia says. Why? Why?!? Is there a curse upon Julia Roberts, and if a 50-something woman does not repeat every word she says, Julia will no longer be sassy and hilarious? Is it sort of like if you say, "I don't believe in fairies" a fairy falls down dead? I think Peter Pan said that. Or maybe it was the woman sitting next to me.

Anyway, WCK and Jay were oblivious to Margarita Lady, but I heard it all. When the crocodile chased Captain Hook across the stage, Margarita Lady exclaimed, "Wow! That guy is good!!" Then she frantically paged through the program, muttering, "Who's playing the crocodile? Who's playing the crocodile?"

Wow.

Fortunately, Margarita Lady did not return to her seat after intermission. Maybe she couldn't take the excitement anymore, or maybe she was eagerly waiting backstage to meet the actor who played the crocodile. Maybe she was passed out under the inflatable pirate ship in the children's area.

I'll have to imagine where she ended up, because I'm going to write a play based on this incident. I'm planning to call it "The Lady Next to Me is Drunk! Presented by Jose Cuervo Margarita Mix!"


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