Monday, July 09, 2012

Disney World Tip #1

Please note: I screwed up earlier today and accidentally deleted this post. It took hours of searching "help" pages that really weren't much help until I finally figured out how to get it back. So it's back (thank you, Internet, for saving EVERYTHING out there somewhere in cyberspace), but if you left me a comment, I couldn't get those back. Please don't think I deleted your comments! I love comments! Anyhoo, here's the post:

So, we had our big, crazy trip to Disney World. We got back over a month ago, but I had no idea where to even begin blogging about it. I didn't want to do a full blow-by-blow recounting of the entire trip ("First, we got on the plane! We had pretzels! We saw clouds!"), but how would I pick out the best highlights? The entire trip was a highlight! How would I ever possibly make it sound as fun as it really was? I can't! It was just too fun!! These are the problems that keep me up at night. 

I know. I have a horrible, horrible life.

Then I remembered how I spent months and months before the trip looking everywhere for Disney tips.  Anyone who has ever been to Disney World in the past few years became a valuable source of insider Disney info. Remembering that made me realize that I am now a valuable source of insider Disney info!

I decided I would share my own Disney World tips in a series of blog entries. Are you planning a trip to Disney World? I just spent five days there, so I am now a qualified expert! I present to you Tip Number One:

Tip Number One: Don't Get the Disney Dining Plan

It seemed like a good idea at the time. All of our food was paid for ahead of time, and -- in theory -- we were saving money on our meals. The plan included one counter-service meal (that's Disney-talk for fast food), one table-service (fancy) meal, and one snack per day. 

Now, when you purchase your daily snack, you could behave yourself and buy some carrot sticks or a little bag of pretzels or a banana or a bottle of water. You could do this. But will you? No, you will not, because you are at Disney World, for Lord's sake, and you want fudge and cupcakes and ice-cream sandwiches the size of your head. It's the Disney way.

Then you'll find out that your other two meals each day always include dessert. Now, you could tell the  server that you don't want dessert, or you want the fat-free sorbet or the fresh fruit. You could order dessert and just eat a teeny bite. You could do this. But you won't. The dessert is included! You have to order the most expensive one and eat all of it! You'll get the giant cheesecake every time. I actually ate something called an "Ice Cream Bomb."It's all a blur. A delicious blur.

This means that you're now eating enormous desserts three times a day, every day, in addition to two enormous meals. By about Day Four of your vacation, your stomach will feel like it's going to explode. You'll be sitting through "The Festival of the Lion King" pretending like you're enjoying the color and whimsy, but you're really thinking, "Shut the hell up, Simba. My stomach is going to explode!" 

And then as soon as the show ends, you'll walk out and buy yourself a chocolate-covered Mickey-shaped ice cream on a stick. You have to. You have the dining plan.

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