The other day, I had cafeteria duty at WCK's school. When you're the parent assigned to cafeteria duty, you help the kids open their pudding cups and ketchup packets, and then you mostly just stand around to make sure nobody throws Tator Tots or burns down the building. So there I was, watching for Tator Tots, keeping myself on high alert for a pudding-cup emergency, when some kindergartners waved me over to their table.
"So-and-so said the B-Word!" one of them informed me.
I had absolutely no idea how to respond to this, but before I could, another kindergartner chimed in.
"What's the B-Word?" he asked.
"Um," I said, "I, um, don't know."
I was trying to convey complete innocence. Is there a bad word that starts with B? I've never heard of one. Nope. Not a one.
"I know what it is!" exclaimed kindergartner #3, and my heart nearly stopped. "It's B-U-T-T!!"
Oh. That B-Word. That's one I can handle. That word comes up about 5,000 times a day at our house, because WCK thinks the word "butt" is hilarious. And, believe it or not, "butt" has worked to my advantage. She used to delay going to bed because she said she was "scared of monsters." Finally, I told her that if a monster ever tried to get into our house, I would kick it in the butt. Yes, I said "butt" out loud. Apparently, this was the most hilarious thing ever to come out of my mouth. No more fear of monsters.
One day, though, WCK was going a little crazy with the B-Word, and I told her to please stop saying the word "butt".
She smiled and said, "BUT ... I love you!"