Friday, September 18, 2009

Vat of demonic rubber babies

Every year around mid-September, a "Halloween Superstore" opens in a strip mall near our house. Every year around mid-September, WCK starts begging to go to "the scary, spooky store", even though it is, quite frankly, terrifying. The same child who ran screaming from the room because she thought "The Tinkerbell Movie" was too scary actually wants to go browse the selection of disembodied limbs and talking zombies and giant rats and bloody skulls. Are you in need of an evil clown or a three-foot furry spider or a portrait of the Mona Lisa that turns into a portrait of a skeleton when you walk past it? Of course you are! Go to the Halloween Superstore! They have everything.

Do you wonder about the people who work at the disembodied-limbs factory? I do.


Anyway. We didn't have anything going on yesterday afternoon, so I decided that, yes, we could go to the Spooky Store. I've accepted that WCK is not going to change her mind about being Hannah Montana for Halloween, so I thought we'd check to see if the store had any costumes that cost less than the ones we've found online. The one positive side of WCK wanting to be Hannah Montana is that one of HM's many outfits is a pink puffy dress, and WCK has actually agreed that she will wear this dress. Usually, WCK is opposed to anything puffy and pink. This might be my only chance to see WCK in a pink puffy dress for decades, so I am grabbing my opportunity.

We ended up having a pretty good time at the Spooky Store. The best part was when WCK broke out dancing to "Witchy Woman" (or, as Jerry Seinfeld called it, "Witch-CHAY Woman"). I tried to keep us mostly in the little-girl-costume section and away from the really scary stuff, although some of the little-girl costumes were pretty scary. They all start to look somewhat hooker-ish by the time girls get to be about nine. Really, costume industry? Really?

We also passed by a vat of demonic rubber babies. It's exactly what it sounds like. And "Vat of Demonic Rubber Babies" would make an excellent name for a band.


In the end, the Spooky Store did not have the pink dress, but they did have Hannah Montana wigs on clearance, for half the price that I've seen online. We had to get one, because everyone knows that you can't have a Hannah Montana costume without the wig. WCK could not wait to try it on when we got home, running up the stairs to the mirror and proclaiming, "I AM SO HAPPY! I AM SO HAPPY!" She looked a little bit like a blonde Cousin It with bangs, but WCK's happiness cancels out the creepiness of the wig. I told her that we have to put the wig away in the closet so that it doesn't get all messy before Halloween, and she agreed. Mostly, I do not want to have to go back to the Halloween store to get a fresh one, because I'm a little scared of running into those demonic babies again.

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