Friday, April 10, 2009

The best of both worlds

Today was the Big Day; we had both the carpet installation and Garland's surgery. Jay stayed home with the Carpet Guys so WCK and Garland and I could be away while they completely ripped the house apart. I have to say, they did a really good job and they finished the entire house in less than 11 hours.

During most of those 11 hours, however, WCK and I had to figure out where to go. I'd planned on going to a playgroup at a friend's house today, which would have eaten up a lot of our morning, but WCK woke up with a cough and a runny nose. I didn't want to be That Mother who exposed a bunch of innocent children to a virus, so we had to come up with some other activities away from home. We dropped Garland off at the vet's office, went out to breakfast, ran some errands at the grocery store, and then hung out in the toy department at Target for, seriously, like, two hours. During that time, WCK became fixated on a Hannah Montana microphone. You push a button on the front, and it lights up and plays a few seconds of a Hannah Montana song.

OK. What the heck is the deal with little girls and Hannah Montana? Until today, WCK had no idea who Hannah Montana was. Then she saw that microphone, and now she is completely obsessed with her. Here's the worst part: I bought her the microphone, and now Hannah Montana is a part of our lives.

Let me explain: WCK will not use public restrooms. Ever. The child will hold it in for eight or nine hours, rather than use a public restroom. By noon, she had gone about six hours without peeing, she'd had a huge glass of apple juice for breakfast, and we were not headed home any time soon. I knew the dam was about to burst, and yet WCK refused to use the Target restroom. Finally, I told her that if she would use the Target restroom, we could go back and buy the $3 Hannah Montana microphone. Success! I fully realize this is a lavish reward for one trip to the potty, but I was desperate. I hadn't brought any spare clothes, and I wasn't sure I could even get to some spare clothes if I returned home. Now I'm wondering if cleaning up a pee accident would have been easier than enduring the microphone. She will not stop playing with the microphone and pretending to sing into it. It plays a 15-second snippet of the song, "Best of Both Worlds" which I'd never heard before today, but it goes something like,

You get the beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeest of both worlds
(Something something) slow, then you rock at the show
You get the beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeest of both worlds
(Something something) all together, and you know that it's the best of both worlds
The best of both worlds

I know this, because I heard this 15-second snippet four times per minute for about seven hours straight. I thank God that Jay called when he did to say that it was OK to come home, because I was right on the verge of marching into Barnes and Noble and buying a Hannah Montana CD just so I could hear the rest of the song. This is why Hannah Montana has sold so many CDs. Mothers on the brink of insanity.

Anyway. After Target, we had lunch, hung out at Borders for a really long time, and walked around a local shopping area. Garland made it through surgery just fine, and we were able to pick her up at 5 p.m. The doctor said the lump came out really easily (which is good), but they have to ship it off to the vet school at the University of Missouri. We should have the results next week. Right now she has a bald patch on her back and some stitches, and she is very confused about the new carpet and kind of ticked off.

Otherwise, everything's great. It's the best of both worlds. Whatever that means.


Anonymous said...

It starts out with Hanna Montana ,My daughter had the very same microphone. If She comes near you on tour, a ticket is likely to run a bit more that $200 ,As I found out with My own daughter. Then it changes to the Jonas Brothers in the early teens and after that it can become a lifetime obsession very much like NKOTB was in Your day.
And one concert is never enough ,there are fan clubs and posters , road trips, and bidding on ebay for tickets. But it all starts out with just one little concert. Thinking back though I think that microphone actually sparked My daughter interest in vocals and excelling as a high school vocalist .

Lael said...

I come by to visit your blog often. I enjoy it immensely. I read this and laughed outloud. The things we do to make it through the day huh? Thankfully my daughter is 2 and I'm hoping this particular fad will be out of the picture by the time she realizes what is going on. Sadly, having lived through thirty three years on this planet, I know it will only be replaced by some other little girl in some other little outfit, singing some other little song that will drive me to insanity. Enjoy your microphone (of course, don't tell anyone when you pick it up while she's napping and sing into the mirror with it - ha!)

La Cootina said...

I'm impressed - I don't think I can go 3 hours without peeing! As teen pop idols go, girls could do a whole lot worse than Hannah/Miley, who does not dress like a $10 hooker or gyrate on stage. Yet.

Glad to hear of Garland's successful surgery. Best of both worlds, indeed! ;D