Sunday, September 14, 2008


Back in the Dark Days of Dex, I'd usually end up having to go grocery shopping on Dex Day or Dex Crash Day. This probably wasn't the best plan, but it's usually how things worked out. I'd be staggering around Hy-Vee, struggling to get my brain to function, wishing I could just stop and lie down next to the cart for a minute. I always felt like people were staring at me like I was insane. It's not like other people could look at me and understand my situation. I don't look like I'm a typical cancer patient. There were times I wished I had a giant sign taped to my body that said, "I'M ON CANCER DRUGS AND MY BRAIN DOESN'T WORK RIGHT NOW! PLEASE BE NICE TO ME!"

I don't want sympathy. I just want people to know why, on dex days, I have to stare blankly at the Ziploc bag display for, like, ten minutes before I can pick the one I want.

Today at Hy-Vee, I passed a woman who didn't look anything like a cancer patient, either, but she was wearing this shirt:



The Mama Monkey said...

That is the best shirt evah!! :) It deserves a spot in your wardrobe!

Jen said...

Nice. Very nice.

Anonymous said...

I totally understand this! I don't look like a "typical" cancer patient either - after 5 months of treatments. But my son always says it for me - "she has chemo brain".

La Cootina said...

I'm holding out for "I'm gonna kick cancer's ass" or "I'm gonna make cancer my bitch!"
(Both available at

John Wagner said...

I can relate on several levels. People are always telling me how great I look and how I don't look like someone with cancer. That's true, but you should see my bone marrow!

I need to find that shirt - or make one. Although the heavy fog surrounding chemo days lifted, chemo brain lives on. Certainly it can't be my age! I had originally found an article that chemo brain lasts a year. After a year my wife said I couldn't use that excuse any more. Fortunately an article came out that saved me. TEN YEARS! The study was done on women, but chemo is chemo, right? Here is a link to the MSNBC article:

Susie Hemingway said...

You are a totally brave lady and I admire you greatly. All very best wishes to you.