Friday, June 01, 2007

Canyonero!

We just bought a new car. It's a Honda Pilot, which is an obnoxiously large SUV:



Is this day and age, is it completely irresponsible to buy a gigantic car? Yes, probably. I keep waiting for Al Gore to come over and beat us over the heads with a giant club made of all recycled materials.

Jay has a thing for giant cars. When he was growing up, his parents -- like all smart people -- tended to get smaller cars. He ended up psychologically scarred from having to ride in the back seat with his two sisters. I figure WCK will turn out the opposite way, after spending years rattling around in the back of this enormous, cavernous thing, and she'll force her family to buy a Festiva or a Volkswagen Bug. Then her kids will be scarred by the Festiva, and they'll all buy, say, school buses. The next generation won't even want to buy cars at all; they'll just drive around on teeny little scooters or just beam themselves around, like on Star Trek. By then, though, the entire earth will be under water from the melted ice caps, so it won't really matter. We might as well enjoy our giant car while we still can.

Anyway, remember when Marge Simpson bought the Canyonero? I can't get that song out of my head:

Can you name the truck with four-wheel drive
Smells like a steak and seats thirty-five.

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down
It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!

Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero!

Canyonero! 12 yards long, 2 lanes wide, 65 tons of American Pride!

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Top of the line in utility sports
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!)

She blinds everybody with her super high beams
She's a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine!

Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)
Drive Canyonero! Woah Canyonero! Woah!


8 comments:

David E said...

You should have added:

http://images.ea.com/eagames/official/simpsons_roadrage/characters/marge_thm.gif

I saw a great clip of Leo DeCapria at Cannes. He was talking about some enviro-film he did, the back drop? 10-15 obnouxiously large yachts, brought to Cannes by the same people telling us our SUV are killing the planet!

Karen's Dad said...

I am glad Karen isn't dragging baggage from the 11 years she spent in the backseat of the Datsun B-210 with her sister. Remember Herb (VW dune buggy)?
Dad

John Wagner said...

My wife bought one of these last January to replace her car. Not sure why other than she wanted one. Actually it is top rated for safety and is only a "mid-sized" monster.

Anonymous said...

I drove a Ford Festiva in college - I can't believe I survived. It's like driving a tin can. Safety first - environment second!
:)Lisa

Abigail said...

So that's why I want a Pilot! My two sisters and I were squashed into the back of VW bug for years on end. So now I can blame my traumatic childhood and convince Mathew that we need one too.

Karen's Mom said...

I applaud a son-in-law who likes roomy cars.....roomy enough to haul WCK's grandparents around when they get reeeaaalllly old!

Love,
Mom

Jen D said...

Hi Karen,

My name is Jenny and I am part of an online community called CarePlace, for people with similar health concerns and their caregivers. I came across your blog and story and want to introduce you to our site. I may have contacted you previously when we added our other Cancer communities.

We have recently opened a new Multiple Myeloma community and forum and would love to hear what you think. We are excited to offer a unique online support network for those with MM. As your blog relates to what we are doing at CarePlace, I wonder if you might visit our site and let me know if you think it might be helpful to the people who communicate through and with you.

At CarePlace, you can create your own webpage, join multiple communities, share an online journal with family members and friends and chat live with other members, in addition to sharing and supporting. CarePlace is a great resource for the exchange of ideas and information.

It’s important to us to get feedback from people like you about CarePlace as we develop our site. Site address is www.CarePlace.com. Please add me as a friend (profile name Jen D). I would very much appreciate any insight and thoughts you have about our organization and the site.

Thanks in advance!

Jenny (jend)

mplsdeanna said...

We got a Saturn Vue about three months ago, and had the same mixed feelings -- is this really the best decision we can make right now? But oh, the leg room! And each front-seat person gets her own armrest! The armrest alone is worth the 6 mpg we lost by selling the Civic.