First let's establish this: I'm a horrible mother because my two-year-old is still addicted to a pacifier.
OK, let's move on to the rest of the story.
Before WCK was born, I'd see older kids with pacifiers and think, "Why do the parents keep buying the pacifiers for them? Why don't they just take them away?" Ha. Naive me.
In my defense, I'm very strict about WCK only getting the pacifier at bedtime and naptime, and it has to remain in the crib at all other times. Still, she is hooked on this thing. She started taking a pacifier as a newborn when I bought her a bunch of First Years brand pacifiers. After a while, my plan was to let all of the pacifiers get worn out and cracked and gross and lost and then sort of phase them out of her life. We got down to the last pacifier and ... I chickened out.
I went to Wal-Mart to get a fresh supply, only to discover that, apparently, First Years doesn't make pacifiers anymore. I bought her a different brand, thinking she'd never know the difference. Oh, she knew. She knew. She will only suck on her solitary First Years pacifier. It's blue, and she calls it "Blue Fire". She'll inevitably lose it in the middle of the night and call out for it, and it sounds like this: "Buh-leeeeeeew Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-rrrrrrrrrrrre! Mommy! Help! Buh-leeeeeew Fiiiiiiiii-rrrrrrre!" Then Mommy has to go search under the crib, under the clown doll, under the blankie for the Blue Fire until the matter is resolved to WCK's satisfaction.
Every day, I say to Jay, "What are we going to do if anything ever happens to Blue Fire? We're all doomed."
Doomed, I say. Until today. I found salvation on Ebay.
That's right. I found a whole mess of brand new, still-in-the-package Blue Fires on Ebay, and they are speeding toward our home as we speak. Want to make a ton of money? Sell discontinued pacifiers on Ebay. Some poor sap parent is going to be willing to pay you hundreds of dollars. (I only paid $9.99 for my big pack o' pacifiers, but I probably would have gone higher.)
Thank you, Ebay. You saved our family.