Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The Evil Petting Zoo

If you've seen Austin Powers about 100 times like I have, you'll remember the part where Dr. Evil's son, Scott, announces he'd like to run a petting zoo.

"Is it an evil petting zoo?" asks Dr. Evil.

My sister and I find this hilarious, and every time we hear the phrase "petting zoo", without fail, we turn to each other and say, "Is it an evil petting zoo?"

Well, I found it today. The Evil Petting Zoo.

Today there was a "Traveling Farm" event at our local library. WCB and I went to it last year, and it was an actual petting zoo -- animals out frolicking on the front lawn of the library, kids petting them, the usual. WCB and I were both very excited to go again this year. All morning, I told her we were going to see the animals. She even stood next to the door calling, "Animals? Animals?" about an hour before we were scheduled to leave. This might not seem like a big deal, but -- Sesame Street was on. Usually nothing can tear WCB from Sesame Street. A nuclear bomb could go off, and WCB would remain motionless until the end of Trash Gordon. I had to explain to her that the animals were still asleep, but we'd see them in an hour. She seemed to accept that, but, boy, she couldn't wait for those animals to wake up.

We showed up at the library, and ... the "petting zoo" was a tiny trailer -- yeah, a trailer -- containing one chicken, one lamb, one pig, one baby cow, and a pony. We stood in line and then spent about two minutes walking through the trailer. All of the animals were in teeny tiny cages and -- in some cases -- strapped down so they couldn't move. WCB was pretty interested in the pony, but because we were holding up the endless line of toddlers aching to get into the trailer, we had to move on. I had to carry her out while she was screaming, "Pony! AGAIN!!! Pony! AGAIN!!!"

Oh, it was so sad and so pitiful in so many different ways.

What a disappointment. Have I scarred her for life? "Yeah, Mom, remember the time you made me go into that dark trailer with the strapped-down lamb? Remember when you wouldn't let me see the pony again? That's why I'm a serial killer today."


Brooke said...

Ugh, that's two crappy library events in a row (the 15 second puppet show and the evil petting zoo). I'll make a note not to schedule anymore library events near the end of the fiscal year. Maybe they'll have good ones again after July 1...

Abigail said...

Whew, I'm glad we didn't make it after all and waste a quarter tank of gas.

At some point this morning, I realized that 200 kids + 10 animals = too much stress for me this morning. And that we would possibly get closer to a cow driving over there than at the library.

You had me LOL with the evil petting zoo, though.

Karen's sister said...

How odd to think there really IS an evil petting zoo industry... and to think, we've been laughing about this legitimate profession for years. Did the animals have red, glowing eyes and fangs too?

David E said...

Sometime around the year 2022,
WCB and Karen have a dicussion similar to the following:

Scott Evil: I was thinking I like animals. Maybe I'd be a vet.

Dr. Evil: An evil vet?