Two of my favorite movies of all time were on TV recently in celebration of the holidays, and, as with everything else, I have some minor quibbles with them.
Oh, I have quibbles with every movie, even my NUMBER-ONE all-time favorite movie, The Wizard of Oz. What happens to Miss Gulch at the end of the movie? Doesn't she still have the order from the sheriff that authorizes her to take Toto? That plot point is never resolved. I like to think she was killed by the tornado.
First up: The Sound of Music. Remember when Captain Von Trapp asks Maria if there's anyone he needs to go to to ask permission to marry her? And she says, "We'd better go ask the children"? Yeah, how did that conversation go? Wasn't that a little uncomfortable?
"Um, OK? Kids? You know how I never allowed you to grieve after your mother dropped dead, and then I turned into an emotionally distant jerk who was never home? And then I briefly came around for a while, faking you out by laughing at that goat puppet show, only to scar you psychologically once again by announcing that I was going to marry the Evil Baroness who clearly hated you? Ha, ha! Remember how I forced you all to kiss her on the cheek and call her 'mother'? Well, um, in just the last couple of minutes, I decided to dump the baroness and take up with your nanny, who isn't going to be a nun after all! But I swear, from now on we will have a stable home life. Well, after we become a show-biz family and then escape from the Nazis."
I think Captain Von Trapp needs help from Dr. Phil.
Next: It's a Wonderful Life. I've brought this up many times before, but it bears repeating. Why is it that Jimmy Stewart is relatively composed when he learns his brother is dead, his uncle has gone crazy, and old Mr. Gower poisoned some kid, but he loses it – really loses it – when he finds out that his wife is a librarian?
Not just a librarian. (DRAMATIC PAUSE) A librarian ... WHO WEARS GLASSES!
Oh, the humanity.
Anyway. I hope all of you reading this have a very merry Christmas. Stay away from the library, though.