Last night, I caught about 15 minutes of that new game show, Identity. I'm not sure what the rest of the show was like, but in the part I saw, the contestant had to decide which of the two scantily clad women in front of him was a belly dancer and which one was a ... I don't remember ... a structural engineer or an accountant or blackjack dealer or something. They dragged this decision out for the entire 15 minutes and made it clear that it was the Tensest. Moment. Ever. The man was about to have a nervous breakdown. His family was crying. What if the woman wasn't really a belly dancer??!?!? WHAT IF?!?!?!
Tension? Dude. Sure, winning all that money is a big deal, but try sitting in a doctor's office, waiting to find out if you have cancer. That's tension. Maybe they should treat THAT like a game show. The doctor could keep walking into the exam room repeatedly for 15 minutes: "Karen, we'll tell you if you have cancer (dramatic pause) AFTER THE BREAK!"
If you didn't have cancer, balloons would drop from the ceiling, and your entire family would come running in, screaming. If you did, then the doctor could play the sound of a studio audience going, "Awwwww!" and you could get a consolation prize, like a free toaster. It's no fun to have cancer, but it is fun to make toast.