WCB has two big issues that arise out of her extreme stubbornness: One is her refusal to walk, and the other is her refusal to drink milk out of a cup.
She would drink milk nonstop out of a bottle -- back when she was still getting a bottle, that is. She will drink water nonstop out of cup. She just will not drink milk out of a cup. If I put a milk-filled cup on her tray, she says, "No! No!", turns the cup upside down and begins shaking the milk onto the floor.
A friend suggested that I try some fancy "smoothie" drinks. I was excited to find some Yo Baby yogurt drinks in the organic section at Hy-Vee. WCB loves Yo Baby yogurt more than anything in the world. If a container of Yo Baby and I were trapped in a burning building and WCB could only save one of us, she would rush inside to save the Yo Baby. Then she would eat it. Then she would look around for some more. And then she would call the fire department. These drinks are the same thing, only liquid. I had her now, I thought.
I put the yogurt drink in a cup, and ... WCB acted like I was trying to poison her. "No," she said, then, adding for clarity: "No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No." (Pause) "No."
She made herself turn red until the yogurt was removed from her tray, from her sight, from the universe.
Moments after I took her out of the high chair, far away from the expensive, organic, richly high-fat, tasty, fruit-flavored yogurt, I caught her eating a clump of dirt.
Maybe I should mix dirt in with her milk. Would that be wrong?