Sunday, September 10, 2006

La Vida Myeloma

OK, I realize this will be the third post in a row that mentions my friend DeAnna's online adventures (have you watched Tomzilla yet?), but now I have something stuck in my head that won't go away until I post it on the blog. So here it is.

When DeAnna linked her site to my site, she wrote, "She's my best friend from college and she's got cancer. Tune in and live la vida myeloma!"

La Vida Myeloma. I had to write the words to that song. I had to. There was no choice.

And so, after a day of complete obsession, here it is. (I was going to apologize to Ricky Martin first, but then I thought, no, Ricky Martin still owes all of us an apology for the song "Shake Your Bon Bon." Rhyming "Himalayas" with "C'mon, I wanna lay ya" should be a punishable offense. Possibly by death.) Anyway. The rhythm works best if you pronounce it "my-uh-loma" in your head. Everybody sing!

Livin' With Myeloma
By Cancer Girl

I have a rare condition
Too many plasma cells
Doc feels a premonition
My marrow's shot to hell

She'll make you take your clothes off and go dance with the x-ray
She'll stick a needle in your hip, take lots of blood away
Collect pee for one whole day!

Come on!

Upside, inside out
She's lookin' for myeloma
She will wear you out
Lookin' for myeloma
I know she is well-read
She has a cool diploma
Now there is no doubt
I'm livin' with myeloma
Livin' with myeloma

Woke up at the Mayo Clinic
In a funny patient gown
She pierced my bone and she took my marrow
That scar's gonna hang around

She's not gonna treat me 'til my body goes astray
Now I live a crazy life, gotta worry every day
Will my bones start to decay?

Come on!

Upside, inside out
I'm livin' with myeloma
What's it all about?
Gotta Google myeloma
I know things could be worse
I could be in a coma
But I could do without
This stupid myeloma
This lousy myeloma


tk said...

You so need to record this!!! It's too funny.

DeAnna Miller said...

As we say in my house in front of the toddler, "Holy F'ing S." Karen, you are INCREDIBLE.

Rachel said...

Wow! I never thought something good would come out of having the whole livin' la vida song in my head. Proven wrong, yet again! That was funny! :)

DavidE said...

You need to get Tomzilla to record a video of this!!!

amanda said...

This is great. I wish that I had the sense of humor that you have.

Anonymous said...

Your sense of humor continues to amaze me. Now I'm humming stupid Ricky Martin tunes and thinking that William Hung should do a version of this!

Thanks for the laugh!