Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The Happiness Hotel

If you ever have to go to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, DO NOT stay at the Days Inn downtown. I picked it because it was a little cheaper than our last hotel and is within walking distance of the clinic. It had the Most. Uncomfortable. Bed. Ever. I'm counting the mattress that Jay and I bought at Sam's Club when we were first married. As Jay and I huddled in the sinkhole that was our mattress, I said, "Do you remember the hotel that Kermit and Fozzie stayed at in The Great Muppet Caper?"

"YES!" said Jay. "YES! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THIS HOTEL IS LIKE!"

Well, except for the singing muppets and the cool double-decker bus.

We're sitting here in the waiting area on the 10th floor of the Gonda Building. My appointment with the doctor is in about an hour and a half. I had all of the tests this morning, including the x-rays.

When you have x-rays here, men go through one door and women go through another. Then you're shown to a changing-room area so you can put on a gown. They call you back in groups of four, and then they ask each person to give her birthday, just so they know they have the right person. I was the only person in my group not born in the 1930s. I was the only person not starting conversations with the words, "Betty and I were driving home from our bridge group, and ..."

Then they give you something to change into, depending on what you're going to have x-rayed. I noticed the others in my group either got just a gown or just a pair of shorts. I, on the other hand, had to go the Full Monty and put on a gown, an enormous pair of green shorts, and some little green slippers made out of foam. The slippers had happy faces on the toes. Maybe I should have asked if I could keep them, because they were kind of fun.

My x-ray techs were a little cranky and kept snapping at each other. Obviously, they did not take the time to look at my happy-face toes. I had to get A LOT of x-rays, and many of them involved very weird positions. ("Now put your arms over your head, bend your knees, and roll over on your side." "Now put your nose and your forehead up against this board.") I have to say, though, that the x-ray table was much more comfortable than the bed last night.

So now we wait. The waiting room is really filling up. Once again, I appear to be the only person around here not born in the 1930s.

I'll let you know how it goes.

2 comments:

DavidE said...

K
can you send me your email again? I can't seem to find it and want to get you the Dr. info.
Thanks for the kind words...got to run for now!

amanda said...

Good luck sweetie. I can relate the the feeling of being the only ones in the room that are under the age of 60. Hang in there.