* I was trying to think of a funny line from MASH, and this was the only one that popped into my head, probably because my sister and I laughed about it for days and days. Charles was playing his French horn, and Hawkeye walked into the tent and said, "Ah, music to my rear!" Still cracks me up.
I got two more entries in my Fantasy Doctor Game. Keep sending them in if you got 'em, folks. My sister said:
Okay, you mentioned Hawkeye Pierce in one of your posts. And as cool as that would be, I'd hate to be in a hospital in a war zone. Somehow, having bombs fall on you as you recover would complicate things. So, as an alternative, I'd go to the hospital where they all went after the war. Remember the very short-lived "After MASH"? Heh, if humor is the best medicine, how about having Corporal Klinger run around your room in a dress?
And who doesn't love Klinger?
A few years ago when we were still living in Minnesota, Jay and I went to a St. Paul Saints (minor league) baseball game. Because it's minor league, they have to do all of these crazy stunts to get people interested. For example, every season they'll get a cute little piggy, give him a cute name such as Hammy Davis Junior or Kevin Bacon, and then have him do tricks between innings. Then, when the season is over, they'll have a big barbecue ... and eat him. Nice.
The night that we went was MASH-theme night. For example, they actually flew the ball in on a helicopter. They landed it on the field, and a group of people dressed as MASH characters ran out to the helicopter with a stretcher, put the ball on the stretcher, and then ran it back out for the first pitch. It was all very fun, but when we first arrived, I didn't realize it was MASH night. I did notice, however, that the man taking our tickets was wearing a dress.
I spent quite a long time thinking to myself, "Well. Good for him. Good for him that he's comfortable enough with himself to wear his dress to his job as a ticket-taker. And good for the St. Paul Saints organization for not minding that he wears his dress to his job as a ticket-taker. Good for them. Good for him. Good for everyone! This almost makes up for the pig-eating. Peace on earth!"
Yeah. Turns out he was just Klinger.
Moving on: My brother-in-law voted for Dr. Nick Riviera from The Simpsons:
He'd be on my list, too! Not only does he provide inexpensive medical care, but he successfully put Homer on the gain-60-pounds diet. "Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon!"
Hmm. This whole post has me craving a pork product of some kind.