Thursday, May 11, 2006

Rambling, rambling, rambling ...

I have a wide variety of topics to cover today. I'll try to number my rambles so you can keep track of them ...

RAMBLE ONE: It looks like I'm the only one around here who appreciates The Brady Bunch. Nobody else has a favorite episode? What about the time Marcia fell in love with her dentist? What about when Vincent Price tied up the kids in the cave in Hawaii? What about the time they made the Pilgrim movie? Those were classics.

RAMBLE TWO: Chris got voted off of American Idol??? He was the best one. Who am I supposed to root for now? I have never understood Elliot's appeal, and Katharine has always seemed snotty. Taylor seems like a very nice fellow, and he is highly entertaining, but in a Forrest-Gump-is-having-a-seizure sort of way. Let me tell you a story: Sometime in the mid-'80s, my sister and I were spending the night at our grandparents' house. They let us stay up late. Paul Simon was the musical guest on Saturday Night Live, and he had a couple dozen backup singers/dancers who were supposed to be dancing the same steps, but they kept messing up. My grandma turned to my grandpa and said very seriously, "Oh, I don't think they're bright, Steve."

My sister and I thought this was HILARIOUS. We still say it to each other all the time. And that is the best way to sum up my feelings about Taylor: I don't think he's bright, Steve.

RAMBLE THREE: (Skip this one if you're eating and/or you just don't want to read about cat/child throwup) Around 1:30 this morning, I once again woke up to my oldest child (that would be Garland the cat) trying to produce a hairball on our bedspread. Within a tenth of a second, I had woken from a deep sleep and grabbed Garland, and we both became airborne while I flung her towards the bathroom where she could safely throw up on the tile. Mission accomplished. Everyone is fine, including the bedspread. Jay either slept through it or faked sleeping through it so he wouldn't have to deal with cat throwup, and who can blame him, really? The thing is, I have a genetic ability to sense when the cat -- and I know, someday, a child -- is going to be sick in the middle of the night, and here is why:

In the late '70s and early '80s, my parents had this truly hideous red shag carpet in their bedroom. I don't know why. I always try to picture my parents -- who are typically "I think this shade of beige is a little too wild" type of people -- at the carpet store. "Hmmm ... shag carpet just isn't obnoxious enough for us. Does it come in red?"

Anyway, my sister or I would regularly wander in there in the middle of the night and say, "I think I'm gonna ..." and then -- BLEEEEEH -- toss our cookies on the red shag carpet. Have you ever tried to get throwup out of shag carpeting? I haven't either, but my parents sure have.

Finally, it reached a point where we'd wander in there and say, "I think I'm gonna ..." and my parents would instantly sit up in bed and scream, "RUN!" That was our cue to hightail it to the bathroom and try to throw up in the correct spot, which would be anywhere not covered in shag carpeting.

My point, and I do have one, is that I seem to have inherited this ability to awake and snap into action the instant throwing up is about to occur at 1:30 a.m. At least it is a fairly useful skill.

I think I'm done rambling. For now.

7 comments:

DavidE said...

1) Best Brady Bunch was either when Peter (?) got locked in the meat locker at Sam's Butcher Shop or when Joe Namath was a guest star.

2) Chris getting tossed last night was a joke - Taylor is obnoxious and one dimensional; he's the Keyona Reaves (sp?) of this year's competition. Cat didn’t get voted off because she's women. Hold you're comments about me being a sexist, my wife agrees. Her effort on Tuesday was a joke….SHE FORGOT THE WORDS TO THE SONG!!! It doesn’t matter, I think even coming in 4th Chris will go further!

3) Don’t get me started on barf….I could fill the page with examples from both the human and the animal world…..ewwww.

Karen's sister said...

Favorite episode of the Brady Bunch? I don't know... its the kind of series you just have to love as a whole. Though I will say that the "Greg fakes a UFO" episode has stuck with me through the years. Oh, and the smoking episode when Greg gets his jacket mixed up. Oh, and when Peter meets his twin and has to change back and forth out of his vampire costume. And then there's ugly "Aunt Jenny," which I always took as a personal slight. But over all, the one that always really made me think was the Bobby loves Jessie James episode. As a young child, it was my first exposure to different interpretations of history... which is perhaps why I am in the profession as an adult? Who knows?

Anonymous said...

Two epidosed come to mind. 1) When Marcia gets hit in the nose with the football right before the big dance, and 2) When Jan refused to wear her new glasses and rides her bike into the portrait the kids were giving Mike and Carol for an anniversary present.

My daughters, 8 & 10, now own 4 seasons' worth of Brady Bunch DVDs and think it is the funniest show ever. They call each other throughout the house, "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia . . . ."

Anonymous said...

I hesitated to comment, as I'm a bit introverted, but I must share...my favorite BB episode was the when Davey Jones guest starred. Marcia and I both had a crush on him that year!

Chris had my vote too!

PeaceBang said...

Two words: Johnny Bravo.

deanna said...

I love that most BB episodes can be summed up in two words (Johnny Bravo ... and don't forget orange hair ... Grand Canyon ... baby talk ...)

My two words? George Glass.

Karen's sister said...

Broken vase - or, "Mom always said, 'Don't play ball in the house.'"

And

Harvey Klinger