First of all, I'm getting some GREAT responses to my request for misunderstood song lyrics (check out my previous post and the growing list of comments if you missed it). Keep them coming! I will compile them all into another post later.
My sister just reminded me of the origins of my Officially Lame CD collection. I'd completely forgotten this:
I remember when you built your CD collection in college, which might explain the Monkees CD... remember how you would sign up for the record clubs and get something like 10 free CDs? One membership perk was that if one of your friends signed up, you AND your friend also got ten MORE free CDs. I think at one point you signed me up and kept my CDs, seeing that I didn't own a CD player and was happy to let you keep them. However, if I remember right, your goldfish enthusiastically signed up and also got free CDs. Then, luckily, when the goldfish passed on, they left their entire collections to you. I'm betting it was the goldfish who selected the Monkees, out of respect to the animal kingdom.
OK, it's true. I lied to the record club. I claimed that my goldfish Jan was my "roommate", and she got 10 free CDs, which she kindly let me keep. The real kicker was that after Jan passed away and we both quit the record club, the club kept sending postcards to Jan begging her to come back. They never sent me a thing. I always felt slighted by that.
Jan shared her tank with another goldfish, Peter. Peter and Jan were always my favorite members of The Brady Bunch. Remember when Jan tried to remove her freckles with lemon juice? Or when Peter went around saying, "Pork chops ... and applesauce" in a Humphrey Bogart voice? Maybe this is how I ended up with The Monkees CD. The Bradys always loved Davy Jones. Remember when he sang at the prom?
If you can't think of any misunderstood lyrics, then tell me your favorite episode of The Brady Bunch. You know you have one. I call dibs on the one where Greg hides a goat in his bedroom.