OK, apparently Frank and Vivian rushed off to their Niagara Falls honeymoon and completely forgot about me, because I still don't have my test results. I called the Cancer Center, was put on hold, and then was told to leave a voice-mail message for a nurse. Left the message. The nurse didn't call. Perhaps in a couple of weeks I will get a postcard:
Dear Poor, Sweet Kid:
Having a wonderful time. The falls are beautiful. Tomorrow we hope to go on one of those boat rides with the raincoats.
P.S. You are dying.
Those crazy kids! I hope they get a heart-shaped bathtub like Clark and Lois got when they went on their fake undercover Niagara Falls honeymoon for the Daily Planet.
To make matters worse, we are out of jellybeans -- even the sickly yellow ones that taste like Lemon Pledge.