Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Presenting "Passion Among the Plasma Cells"

Still no word from Dr. GPO. Whenever a doctor takes a while to get back to me with test results, I begin to imagine that the news is so horrible that he just can't bring himself to tell me. After a while, it becomes a dramatic scene from a black-and-white 1940s movie starring Jimmy Stewart as my doctor and Maureen O'Hara as his beautiful but tough-as-nails nurse.

DOCTOR: I can't bring myself to tell that poor sweet kid that she is dying! I just can't do it, I tell you! I can't! I can't! (Begins angrily smashing test tubes)
NURSE: But Frank, you have to tell her. If you don't, then you're ... you're just not the man I thought you were ... (dramatic pause) ... and I could never marry you.
DOCTOR: What are you saying, Vivian?
NURSE: I've always loved you, Frank.
DOCTOR: I've always loved you, Vivian!
(The music swells. They kiss. THE END)

Wow, I am so happy that they finally got together, but this doesn't get my test results back any faster. And my doctor isn't even named Frank.

At least we still have jellybeans left. They're mostly green ones, though.


John Wagner said...

That was so funny. I hope your doctor calls soon. If I could, I would send you a bunch of black jelly beans to eat while you are waiting. Gives new meaning to "watch and wait."

Anonymous said...


I got to your blog from David E's -He is a very good friend of mine and I have thoroughly enjoyed reading his blog over the past year. I've read several of your posts and my sides hurt from laughing so hard. You truly have an amazing spirit (plus I love any girl who can quote both Airplane and Princess Bride)!!

Know that someone else is praying for you. Keep fighting and God bless.

DavidE said...

I agree, thsi is the worst part for me each month......
poke me, prod me, suck the blood from my vein, no time for small talk, hundreds of others to treat the same way today.....

Reminds me of the old Aerosmith song: "Don't call us, we call you!"

Lizard Eater said...

Freakin' doctors. When you come out and tell them, "Look, waiting for you to call me with results is excruciating and I begin to imagine bad things," they give you such a surprised look. What? You would worry? Or the amused look, the "oh, you're just so impatient," one.

Sending prickly energy toward your doctor.