Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Dr. Great and Powerful Oz
I'm a little obsessed with that South Park web site. Here is my doctor. Again, the resemblance is a little scary.
Things were really hopping down at the Cancer Center today. People had better stop getting cancer; it's getting really crowded in the waiting room.
First, the bad news. The big orange jug is back. Yeah. Eeew.
The good news: The rest of the appointment was spent getting a big pep talk from Dr. Great and Powerful Oz, who thinks I'm going to be one of those people who smolders for 10 to 15 years and then goes on to conquer the disease and live forever. Call me skeptical, but I kept thinking of that scene in Airplane! where Leslie Nielsen is trying to reassure the passengers, and he says something like, "Now it's true that one of the crew members is ill ... slightly ill ... but the rest of them have everything under control, and are free to pursue a life of religious fulfillment." Meanwhile, his nose is growing and the stewardess is dragging a lifeless body down the aisle.
After the pep talk, a nurse came in and took a couple of vials of blood and sent me home with the infamous jug. I return it tomorrow. Once again, I will be driving the streets of Kansas City with a jug of my own pee.
Dr. GPO said he'll call me with the results early next week, so for now, we play the waiting game. As Homer Simpson once said, "Aw, the waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry, Hungry Hippos."